whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
