her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
