Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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