We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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