my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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