so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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