Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
