So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
