My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
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sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
my shit smells like andre
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
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