I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
