I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we're making bets on your personal life
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
