What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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