She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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