I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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