lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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