i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
