This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
