So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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