Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize