wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
