Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
