I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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