I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
