Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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