i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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