I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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