Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
