I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
