Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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