Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
