did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Need sex. Gaining weight.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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