Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
