the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
