Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
