We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
