Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?