smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter