you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
