He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching