Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.