is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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