i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
