chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
