ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
