My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
