Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
