Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
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Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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