Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize