Don't you send me to vm
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
