Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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