Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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