I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
