I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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