No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me I should be a condom model.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
