I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
