So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
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Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
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Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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