It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
