The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
