Duck Duck Cougar?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
