i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
