So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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