so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
