Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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