I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
