I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
