Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
