your room smells of hookers.
And success
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
